Reason I had so many husbands was because….
I never chose one that loved me. I chose only that which I could feel an aloofness from or something off. I called it a challenge but that was just an excuse to hide it even from myself and not look at it. It was much more than that. I chose those because I did not love myself. I thought that the men who really acted like they loved me were just stupid, undeveloped or something wrong with them because in reality I thought deep down that I did not deserve love. So that is exactly what I gave to myself. Not love.